Saturday, June 09, 2007

Avoiding Fascists at Your Desk Job

Having a desk job at headquarters requires avoidance of ignorant people. If you are to put on the radio softly, don't play Beethoven, Bach or Mozart. This will invite the fascist leaning to comment "That's standard". Play something like Shostakovich. If you want them to think you're really nuts, piano pieces by Bela Bartok will do the job. If you want to make them think you're sensitive and poignant, Eric Satie piano pieces will work.

Number one though is not to invite or arouse the ignorant with romanticized visions of fascism, boots, leather, blood, land and polish. Keep the Mozart, Beethoven and Bach off the radio. Shostakovich should be looped. If you have Verdi, Bellini, Rossini or Italian opera- keep that off too, lest the ignorant start making Godfather speeches.

Mozart, Beethoven, Bach, and Italian opera is for private consumption.

If you have to have something peppy, John Zorn's The Music of Ennio Morricone The Big Gundown will suffice. It's quite possible racist comments will still persist but at least they'll have to think harder to come up with one.

Finally, if all else fails, Riverdance, Irish stepmusic, and the artwork of Thomas Kincade will act like a stealth shield. If you abandon hope, tune in to WABC am daytime radio. Your brain will turn to mush.

It's incredible, despite the oppression, imprisonment, killings, and war that has gone on that people still insist on being racists, hate mongerers, and horders. The wealth of this world continues to be invisible, if only we opened our eyes.

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